Not to be offended at all or to be offended correctly?

Today, I would like to delve into a topic inspired by the 35th Psalm of David, where he addresses a profound human emotion: resentment.

Most likely, all of us are quite familiar with this feeling, as in an unjust and selfish world, resentment is as natural as mold in a damp room.

Somebody says that any bitter truth about a person can trigger resentment. Tell someone that they aren't intelligent enough or that they occasionally act irresponsibly, and it leaves a bitter taste in the soul. Mention to a woman that she was more attractive yesterday than she appears today, and you may cause her heartbreak.

The renowned English playwright and poet, William Shakespeare, once stated, "The greatest insult that can be caused to an honest person is to suspect him of dishonesty."

How should one react to the resentment that brews within? It's undeniable that this feeling is neither pleasant nor a commendable trait. However, is it possible to eliminate it entirely, or is the primary task to learn how to respond appropriately in such situations? In other words, can we learn the art of being offended correctly?

Let's read some texts from Psalm 35 that show David's condition:

Malicious witnesses come forward, Asking me things I know nothing about. They repay me with bad for good, Making me feel bereaved. But when they were ill, I clothed myself with sackcloth;I afflicted myself by fasting,And when my prayer would return unanswered, I walked about mourning as for a friend or a brother of mine;I bowed down in sorrow, like one mourning for his mother. But when I stumbled, they rejoiced and gathered together;They gathered together to strike me down in ambush;They tore me to pieces and did not keep silent. The ungodly scornfully mock me, They grind their teeth against me.

This is a poignant reflection on the state of the heart.

As previously mentioned,resentment arises when an individual keenly feels injustice concerning their decisions, actions, or overall personality. In almost every life situation, resentment stems from unmet expectations. For instance, someone may have expected understanding but found none; anticipated gratitude but received none. They may have expected an invitation that never came or hoped for loyalty, only to be

betrayed.

Those who have been offended at least once in their lives are familiar with the immediate rush of emotions – tears, indignation, anger, and sometimes even rage.

However, unlike anger, which can serve as a catalyst for motivation and activity, driving one to prove themselves or achieve their goals, the negative energy born from resentment often remains internalized. It festers within, poisoning the individual and denying them peace and tranquility.

David meticulously catalogued all his actions, every gesture he made for his acquaintances or loved ones, for those people he knew intimately.

He sincerely extended kindness from the depths of his heart. In their times of trouble, he earnestly prayed for them. He even selflessly depleted his soul through fasting. When they fell ill, he donned sackcloth in solidarity. Their pain became his pain. He mourned with a heavy heart, his head bowed low, as if grieving the loss of his own mother. He treated them like a cherished brother, like a dear friend.

He held onto hope, believing he had every right to expect that they would reciprocate his kindness when he faced adversity – that they would stand by him in his time of need.

But, alas, what occurred was quite the opposite. When he stumbled, they reveled in his misfortune, joining forces against him. Accusers gathered around, their motives unclear, slandering him without cease. Hypocritical scoffers gnashed their teeth, showing their true colors.

There exists a profoundly insightful fable, remarkably akin to David's tale.

The wolves had once driven away a dog, surrounding it, hungering for its flesh. The desperate dog pleaded for mercy, promising to assist them in herding the sheep and more. The wolves deliberated and decided to spare the dog, welcoming it into their pack. For two years, the dog aided them, teaching them the ways of shepherds, guiding them to sheep-rich pastures, and hunting alongside them.

Then, a harsh winter arrived, hunger gripped the wolves, and their hunts proved fruitless. Faced with desperation, they contemplated their options. Ultimately, they chose to devour the dog. They consumed it entirely, burying its bones and erecting a tombstone in its memory. They pondered how to inscribe it. "From friends"? But how could they be friends if they had eaten the dog? "From enemies"?

No, they had lived together for two years, side by side, without animosity.

After much contemplation, they settled on the inscription: "From colleagues."

This is the ordeal David endured.

The situation was incredibly distressing for him, especially given his highly sensitive soul. As a poet and musician, he keenly felt these injustices, perhaps even more deeply than as a warrior – and he was renowned as a remarkable warrior. Songs were sung in his honor: "David defeated tens of thousands."

It's truly a disgrace for David. Yes, it deeply wounds him. He stands accused of something that never even crossed his mind. This is a pervasive phenomenon, present throughout history and even in our contemporary times – the act of reproaching someone for something they never contemplated.

Yet, observe how he confronts his resentment. He turns to God in prayer, pouring out all his emotions and feelings. He understands well that God can comprehend even his most bitter expressions:

May those who are hunting for my life be put to shame and humiliated. May those who are plotting to destroy me retreat in disgrace. May they become like chaff in the wind;May Jehovah’s angel drive them away.+ 6 May their path be dark and slipperyAs Jehovah’s angel pursues them. For without cause they have hidden a net to trap me. Without cause they have dug a pit for me. May disaster come upon him by surprise;May the net that he hid catch him;May he fall into it and be destroyed

He refrains from plotting revenge. His desire is to liberate both his heart and mind from the heavy burden of resentment. Therefore, he confides everything to God, laying bare his soul. He recounts all that inflicts upon him the deepest agony.

In conclusion, he states:

Do not remain silent.Jehovah, do not stay far from me. Awake and rise to my defense, My God, Jehovah, defend me in my legal case. Judge me according to your righteousness, Jehovah my God;Do not let them gloat over me.

At times, we might manage to avoid taking offense, even when others attempt to provoke us. We might overcome certain grievances, choosing to overlook them. However, it's unlikely for us, as humans, to avoid feeling offended entirely. There are occasions when a profound insult pierces the soul, leaving it burdened, devoid of peace, surrounded by melancholy, sadness, grief, and tears.

In such dire circumstances, it is worthwhile to follow David's example. Pour out your heart to God, articulating the pain inflicted by those who caused it. Ask God to liberate you from this anguish. This process may take time, and your conversations with God about it won't be solitary. Entrust judgment over your offender to the hands of the Lord. The Apostle Paul once advised: "Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God."

Some might find this approach overly simplistic. Yet, consider this: when resentment strikes, it brings along with it feelings of abandonment and loneliness, as if nobody cares for you. In such moments, akin to childhood, one longs for the embrace, kiss, and reassurance of a loving mother (unless, of course, you bear grudges against your mother). This is precisely what adults need – a soothing touch that brings peace to the heart, ultimately healing the wound of offense.

This was a process that David underwent throughout his life. Sometimes he succeeded admirably, and at other times, not so much. Nevertheless, this journey is essential. Hence, David concludes by affirming: "May the Lord be magnified, for He desires peace for His servant!" And my tongue shall proclaim Your righteousness and sing Your praises each day.